Imaginary

Longing for that someone you thought understood you best.

She was your best friend, your knight in shining armor, your guardian, your companion, adviser, confidant, brother and sister, fairy godmother, rolled into one!

She was made of everything from your check list and none of your disappointments.  She’s sweet, thoughtful, romantic, caring, smart, good-looking, artistic, drives a nice car, and plays the guitar.

She knew your friends, your dreams, your likes and dislikes. She even knew your fears. During your lowest lows, she was there. Believing that she’s on your side comforted you for years.

She made you feel truly happy.

And truly loved.

But then there was this thing called ‘growing up’. And terms like ‘being matured’, and even ‘moving on’.

And all of a sudden, she was. Gone.

 

You could have been good friends until the end, but life  taught you she doesn’t exist.

And you searched for her. And you longed for her every day.

Hate List

I hate it when you care so much you know you’d do anything for someone.
It hurts when you know for sure they wouldn’t do the same for you.
I hate it when I try to please you.
I hate whenever I try so hard to make you laugh.
I hate that I’m happy when you’re happy.
I hate how you make me smile.
I hate it when I get jealous of the people who hold you dear,
because for once, they held my world.
I hate it when I refer to you as my world.
I hate it when I correct myself.
I hate it when I try to control these feelings but fail.
I hate it when I even try.
I hate it when I over think.
I hate how everyone says I should use my brain,
when my brain listens to my heart.
I hate the feeling when you’re around.
No matter how I tried to forget and move on,
you always have a way to pull me back. I hate that.
But you know what I hate the most? You.
I hate that you don’t want me, when all I ever wanted was you.
I hate that you don’t know any of the things I hate.
You don’t even care.