You before Me

Question: If you knew what I knew, would you stop acting the way you do?

The strap of your backpack hugs your low shoulder with your school uniform hanging loose from your body. I never see you carry yourself proud when you pass the hallway.

Here comes the ‘it’ girls making fun of you. Their eyes check every inch of you with their menacing stares. Ignore them. One of these days you’ll see those babes carelessly laughing in the sidewalk, contented with what little they have. By then, they’ll have nothing but your pity.

The doom chair on the corner of the room is calling you  and off towards it you go. Few minutes are spent looking at all the pretty girls and the boys that flirt around them. Unconsciously, your fingers run through the loose hair strands covering your face. Forgive me but you’re so cute when you’re trying to fight over your insecurities!

Let me tell you something: six, seven years from now, you’re going to turn into a fine lady nothing short of captivating charm  and beauty. Someday you’re going to know and feel your worth. Believe me when I say these silly boys who ignore you would look like pigs when they throw themselves at your feet – crawling, begging for your attention. When that happens, remember to roll your eyes at them and smile.

Then you force yourself to get in to some cliques; I can see you doing silly things just to fit in. I tell you that those ‘ friends’ were up to no good but you won’t listen. I try my best to warn you about that boy who will eventually break your teenage heart but you are so hard-headed.

Stop crying.

If I confess that in the years to come the world will give you great friends that are willing to die for you, would you believe me? You’ll have them and they’re going to accept your uniqueness. They’ll laugh at your silly love problems and cry at your corny jokes. They’ll call you weird (you’ll punch them) but love that about you. If I say I’ve met them already, would you believe me? You have to!

You can’t see me but I’m here. I’m close enough to notice the tears that roll down your cheeks yet far enough to watch your wobbly stride as you walk home alone.

I really want to hold your hand and tell you that everything will make sense soon. I want to comfort you by the fact that this is  just a stage of your life. This is just a drill for the big day when you finally soar. Everything that’s happening right now will just be a fun and learning story you’ll look back to.

Personally, I thank you for messing up and for being insecure and for not being perfect. Otherwise I wouldn’t be what you made me to be. So hey, little darling of my past, cheer up!

Wednesday in Vain

It was Wednesday night and he has never been so nervous in his life. He has reserved a table for two in the best Italian restaurant in the city. He arrived much earlier than expected. It’s great that the place didn’t have the usual crowd they have on a Friday or Saturday evening.  The view of the mystical moon kissing the calm ocean in the background made the scene more romantic.

He looked around and there she is – smiling in the lobby, waving at him. He answered back with a tensed smirk.

She wore a little black dress that complimented her features very well. Tinting her face with nothing but a hint of red on the lips, she looked younger, vibrant and sultry at the same time. The natural curl of her hair swayed with the cool night breeze as she walked to him.

She has a pair of pink ballerina flats to complete her look. Despite her petite stature, she was never really comfortable wearing high heels. She’s that one girl in class who stood out for having the most awkward walk on anything above two inches.

He could not help but chuckle.

Poised as always, she strut to the table near the terrace, catching attention from everyone. She got heads turning and jaws dropping; tables went silent and eyes ran down her spine as she passed by.

After three long years, he’s glad she stayed the same– sweet and bubbly, strong but fragile, opinionated and confident. She’s the girl he always wanted and loved for so long. And tonight, he was going to tell her. Finally.

He was practicing his lines when suddenly the figure he was staring at started fading, spinning next. He closed his eyes, rubbed it hastily and opened it again. It was not helping at all. Everything was blurry and moving in a fast circular motion.

Is this the effect of the Enzo Boglietti wine I ordered earlier? It couldn’t be. I swear I had no more than two sips.

His head felt heavy and anywhere he looked, everything and everyone was spinning uncontrollably. He tried to keep his eyes wide and searched for her as the image blended in with the people.

Trying to stand and clear his mind, he raised his left hand and looked at his watch. It was 11:11 pm. A tad dizzy, he looked again, half expecting he was just imagining. He tried the hardest to regain his presence of mind.

Liar, he thought.

“Wednesday for sure,” her angelic voice echoed in his head the same time he remembered the feeling of excitement and happiness associated with  those words. “I promise I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

A week has passed after she made that promise. He closed and opened his eyes again.

“Liar,” aloud this time.

Reaching for his back pocket, his fingers felt the slim side of his phone. A familiar number appeared on the screen after he pressed one on speed dial. His ears laid  closely against the phone. He put it down, pressed one and listened again.

He repeated this three times but to no avail.

Breathing deeply, he dragged himself outside the door. Acting as if he was not intoxicated enough, he resigned to the nearest bar two blocks away. Inside, he pulled a stool, sat with a slouch and stared at the collection of alcohol in front of him.

“What’s for ya?”  The man behind the bar asked.

“Give me anything,” he replied, showing no interest.

The band on the lounge started playing One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer. Damn, that’s exactly was he’s going to have this “splendid” Wednesday night!

“Night’s great to cel’brate don’t ya think?” The bartender handed him his drink.

He gulped one shot and shouted, “Yes, we are going to celebrate my heart’s foolishness at its best tonight!”

“One bourbon, one scotch, one beer. Well I ain’t seen my baby since I don’t know when. I’ve been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin. Gonna get high man I’m gonna get loose, need me a triple shot of that juice. Gonna get drunk don’t you have no fear. I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer”